Lights all aglow

It's Christmas Eve-Eve and the kids are beyond excited. As a matter of fact they were put in bed almost an hour ago and the girls are still awake. I spent the afternoon and late evening-early morning wrapping gifts.

All day the girls have poked, prodded, shaken and inspected each wrapped present under the tree. They've carefully decoded my clever labels and done an accurate gift count. I regaled them with a story of when I was little and snooped on Christmas I got nothing. True story. Karissa rolled her eyes and announced she'd heard it before. Whatev.

Our family has had a busy December. Matt and I have been away on business trips and with increased work loads, we haven't been able to focus as much on Christmas as we have in the past.

Last week the kids were out if school on Friday. With teacher gifts , dance teacher gifts, and holiday parties, I was sending goodies off every day.

Friday afternoon I was in full Christmas prep. With lots of projects underway I finally had a chance to start checking them off my list.

As of tonight most of the projects are done. (Well mostly.)
I not so nicely convinced Matt he needed to put up some of our outside lights. Which he did this afternoon.
Andrew's stocking is still unfinished. I'm really bummed about this. I'm stuck because I haven't had time to get to a fabric store to get the fabric to line the stocking. Hopefully I can get some tomorrow.

Matt and I have had to be super budget conscience this Christmas. We've been able to get some of the well needed things on our list. We've made our dollar stretch further than we ever have before. Luckily the kids have not asked for any big gifts.

So as I sit tonight staring at my tree and outside at our Christmas lights. It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. I'm so excited.

Eleven years

December 8, 2001

Today is Matt and my eleventh anniversay.  On a warm east windy day in Simi Matt and I promised forever. 

Our road has been filled with infertility, miscarriages and fertility x3, career highs - lows -highs, homeownership, non-homeownership, lots of travel and lots of staying home, money - and all that entails and doesn't entail, Church - Mormon-Catholic-Mormon, lets throw in a dog, hamster, bunnies and lots of cleaned up poop.

There are days that are really heavy and hard and some that are blissfully light.

Yet at the end of every day we kiss each other good night, squeeze each others hand and promise to do it all again tomorrow.  I love you Matt.

Home

Strawberry Fields - photo by the extremely talented Mike Johnsen

 

Growing up in Ventura County I've always lived amongst agriculture.  The farm fields started at the base of the Santa Monica Mountains in Camarillo and stretched throughout the Oxnard plain all the way to the ocean. 

 

On our way to school, church, soccer, tap/ballet; I'd stare out the window at the perfectly manicured miles and miles of strawberry/celery/cabbage/tomato fields. The growing vegetation made me feel happy and secure.  The world was thriving right in my own backyard.  Not to mention the sweet smell of strawberries is absolutely intoxicating.

 

As an adult each and every day I drive past dozens of farms.  Farmers and crop harvesters working hard in their fields.  Watching them gives me an overwhelming sense of home. It's like I'm back in that big red station wagon peering out with big green eyes watching the rows run alongside me.  And once again I feel happy, secure and totally at home.

Karissa's school is completely surrounded by farms.  An abundance of lemons, artichokes and of course strawberries in perfect rows.  I hope that she'll appreciate their beauty and like me, they will always remind her of home.

My Mothers Voice

While getting ready for church today (enjoying a rare kid free moment*) and absorbing the silence,
I glanced at myself in the mirror. 

A voice immediately said, "Go put on a slip!" 

I quickly gave myself another once over.  Slip? Ugh!  I'd need to remove at least three layers.
The thoughts tripped over themselves in my mind. 

Still staring in the mirror, the voice returned; "Slip...Now!"

I smiled and released a well needed laugh.  It was undoubtedly my mother's voice.

My mothers voice was never soft and sweet like Snow White.  Her voice was strong and clear.  She always spoke with purpose and conviction.  You never wanted to be on her bad side.

This Wednesday, November 14, would have been my mother's 67th birthday.  I'm glad I will always remember her as 54, young and full of life.  I'm very glad she's always with me.  And that she still has the audacity to tell me what to do.  Somethings never change.  Love you Mom.

*Yes, Mother, I realize I was breaking one of your cardinal rules by getting ready for church after getting all the kids ready and having them wait for me in the car!

Scared

When I was a child I was deathly afraid of spiders. Every time I entered my room I'd do a once over to ensure no eight legged friends were insight. If I happened to spot one I'd lay on my bed motionless trying to kill the spider with my laser vision. Or by twitching my nose like "Bewitched".

Usually that didn't work and I'd scream for my dad or one of my big brothers to come kill it. (With the brothers it never ended well.)

Once I became a mother I gained super strength and have become an expert spider killer. (Ahem- even better than Matt.) The vacuum is my weapon of choice.

Speaking of motherhood. When Karissa was born I was scared of everything! Germs, weird people trying to touch her, illness. My biggest fear is someone taking one of my kids. (Thanks Nancy Grace.) Now on child number three I'm not scared of most of these things except for the last one.

A few weeks ago one of my best friends, Jenny, called to say she found a lump in her breast. She was going immediately to have it checked out. At that moment I thought, there's no way it could be anything serious. Jenny's my age and is healthy and happy. She just got married to an extremely nice guy. Her kids were growing up and doing well. We've been through a lot together Jenny and I.  Marriages, babies, losing our Moms, realizing that our remarried Dads sort of left us behind.  There's no way anything scary could or should happen to her.

Then there was more news and not good news. Things happened super fast and now my friend is missing a breast and several lymph nodes. Suddenly I felt extremely scared.

As I visited with Jenny post surgery she looked vibrant and in her words is ready to fight. Her courage and bravery gave me strength!

Jenny doesn't know exactly what her future will bring. I'm still scared and will stand by her and fight. That's what 16 years of friendship will do. She's been with me through my best and worst.

I love you Jenny!

(Jenny and Addison at 4 days old)

Runnin' on Empty

Almost two weeks ago I snuck out and had dinner with one of my best friends.  We chatted about our busy lives, our ups and downs, but mostly about the craze of kids. We both agreed we were running on Empty. 

This past year has been extremely challenging for my friend and now she is facing a future she fought for years to escape.  Yet in the face of adversity she looked me in the eye and said, "How can I lighten your load?".  It was a very humbling moment.  My problems feel stupid compared to her daily battle as a new single mother with lupus and a child with special needs.

In the next few days I heard from other friends the same phrase, Runnin' on Empty.
When I heard the statement for a third time, it stopped me in my tracks. 

Over the past week or so I've started to really ponder how we, women/mothers, fill our tanks. 
I decided to ask around and observe.  Here are a few tank fillers friends shared;

Church
Friends
Excercise
Blog reading
Good Books
Praise/Compliments
Reading to my children
Good notes from my childrens teachers
Naps (a rare luxury for me)


There have been so many times over the years my friends have come to my rescue and filled my tank.
I hope and pray I can return the favor and fill your tank.

What are your tank fillers?  Do share, please.

Treasures

I've been writing/rewriting this post since last Saturday night. It started out as a post about things I treasure. My feelings are a lot deeper on the subject and now my post has transformed to love, loss and the treasures left behind.

Last Saturday my Sil, Beth and I walked thru the home of her grandmother who passed away last year. Grandma Jeanne Maulhardt's exquisite home is now empty. I've known Grandma Jeanne since I was 14 years old. After my mom died, the Maulhardt family took in our family. We've celebrated holidays, blown out candles on birthdays, witnessed baptisms, danced at weddings and grieved at funerals; all together.

As we walked and looked around at the bare rooms all those feelings of love and loss flooded back. I thought about my moms empty house. My grandpa living in his and grandmas house alone. But mostly about families; families with heavy hearts and the treasures left behind.

Looking around what do you take? How do you choose? How does any one item describe the love and the loss?

Standing sweetly where my daughters sleep are a few treasures from very special grandmas.
These ladies sit day after day keeping a careful eye on my dreaming girls. Just as I imagine my dearly departed grandmothers do. These treasures are a gift to my girls. One of my most important jobs is to teach my children; to teach them where they came from and the legacy which they've inherited. My girls had grandmothers who loved and treasured them.

When looking closely at these treasures you may see a missing arm or a porcelain collar mostly broken off. Yet to me they are perfectly imperfect. As a matter of fact I love them more because of their imperfections. I want my girls to know you don't have to be perfect to be loved. I love them just as I love these treasures; with a long history, broken pieces here and there all of which make them absolutely beautiful and priceless.

Thank you sweet Grandmas. We all love and miss you and are eternally thankful for the treasures you left behind.

Transplants & Face plants

 

We decided to start this school year off with some extra excitement.

 

Karissa started school on September 5 at Rancho Rosal School here in Camarillo.  That lasted about 3 days when we got a call from a school we've waited all summer to get into, Mesa Union.  This past Monday, Karissa had her second first day of school and second - second grade teacher and class.

She loves her new school and we are beyond excited to have finally gotten in. 

 

Why the change? 

Mesa is basically a private public school with "old school" standards and will provide Karissa the academic learning environment she craves.  Thus far Matt and I are impressed with our experience.  Every morning the entire school lines up by class in the quad and recites the Pledge of Allegiance together.  Matt and I felt as if we'd stepped back in time and walked away grinning from ear to ear.

 

 

 

On Addison's first day of Pre-K she and her BFF, Addison, (that makes 2 of them) took over the "Home Center".  Both girls dressed up in hats, gloves, carried purses and smiled sweetly while making dinner, talking on the phone and feeding their babies.  Yes, they can both multi-task with ease.  I mostly chased Andrew and tried to prevent him from destroying the classroom. 

 

The next thing I knew the Addisons had ditched "being Mom" and were in the play yard swinging on the jungle gym.  The Addisons showed off their latest (literally latest) tricks.  They'd swing their legs out over the tire shred play surface below yelling, "Look at me Mom!".  The other Addison's Mom and I smiled, laughed and gave a few "Wows".  My Addi looked at me and said, "Mom, what if I let go?"  I quickly told her that was a bad idea as the ground was at least 4 feet down and she'd get hurt.  Just as I turned to chase down Andrew I heard a big thud.  There was Addi face down in the tire shred.  As I rushed to her there was a simultaneous "gasp" amongst the other mothers. 

 

Addi was fine, luckily.  She got the wind knocked out of her and was a bit shocked. 

After a few minutes it was decided she'd never attempt that again. 

 

There it is!  Our fantastic start to the 2012/2013 school year. 

 

My hopes for the girls this year. 

They will learn to be empathetic and show compassion towards their peers. 

Their thirst for knowledge will be quenched. 

I'm looking forward to a great school year.

 

 

First Day of School photo.  Karissa 2nd grade, Addi Pre-K. 

Karissa wants to be a teacher and Addi wants to be a surfer.

Moments

It is said the joy of motherhood comes in moments. A statement I've come to more clearly appreciate.

As our summer is winding to a close I have realized the best moments weren't captured on my camera or iPhone. The best moments were seen with my eyes and pounded into my soul like a tsunami. I let each moment in eagerly, holding my breath and asking the earth to standstill, while whispering 'Don't ever forget!'

Here are some recent moments I need to share;
tears of joy sliding down karissas cheeks while holding a week old baby bunny. The excitement that sent you soaring into a front hand spring after Auntie Nae Nae told you only once how to do it.

Andrew yelling for Ellie (Ayii) as we rounded the corner and down the hill to her house. Andrews connection to Ellie makes my heart sing.

An unplanned and perfect splits jump into the pool during swimming lessons, sending the audience roaring with laughter. Oh Addi! And how could I ever forget you throwing your fists in the air and yelling,"yes" when you met the height requirement for Space Mountain!

Kayley's mischievous smile when she's up to something. You always are so considerate of others-especially Karissa.

Some of my favorites came this past week and inspired this post.

Someone I love and adore sharing some special news. You know who you are. I'm so incredibly happy for you. I shed a tears of joy. (after you were out of the car.) It reminded me that God is good.

The sweetest boy I ever met, Ky Flynn, sat quietly in the back of my car listening to his sisters latest plot on how to convince her parents baby bunnies are a necessity! As we rode along he looked up and said, Bambi, fell asleep on me three times today. A smile of utter content and bliss spread across his face as he fell back in his seat and remained there all the way home. That moment will remain with me through the eternities.

Just today our god son, Anthony, came to visit. Andrew was playing coy and wouldn't hug anthony. I suggested a high five, then a fist bump. Andrew held out his fist and Anthony swooped him into his arms and gave him a huge hug. We laughed!

My days are chaotic, tough and incredibly busy. I don't want to let these moments go out with the tide.
'Don't forget' I whisper and warn.

One Day

These past few weeks have been busy. The kids have been involved in various activities and playdates. My work has been extra crazy and Matt has been working 12 plus hours a day.

Then yesterday it hit me.

One day when my kids are grown,
I'll long for tiny handprints on every
window and mirror.

One day I'll miss warm bodies snuggled in my bed.

One day my hands will wring with boredom for the thousand and one toys, shoes, pieces of clothing and just general junk I pick-up off the floor each day.

One day I'll open my dryer and my heart will ache for onesies, princess pajamas and dresses with the perfect spin.

One day I won't need to click carseat belts and repeat umpteen times, "Get in the car!"

One day I'll actually go to a store, restaurant, heck anywhere; without visiting the bathroom.

Luckily One Day is not today. So I'll continue to enjoy every minute of the chaos. Because One Day will arrive all too soon.

Chubbers' Baby Story

On Monday, July 23, I woke up at 6am. Matt was in the shower so I decided to rush downstairs to check on Chubbers, our rabbit, to see if she had given birth. It was dark in the family room and kitchen area. Chubbers was quietly laying down. All appeared to be well and no sign of bunnies. (Or so I thought.)  I sleepily walked back upstairs and told Matt no bunnies.

 

 

Wait, I'm guessing you're wondering how we got into this predicament in the first place. It all started when Matt, the kids and I took our vacation to Utah. Chubbers was sent to his Auntie Beth and Uncle Matt's house to be bunnysat. Since we were taking our nieces to Utah, Beth offered to watch Chubbers. Our sweet bunny would hang out with it's cousin bunny, Thunder.  I also gave Beth some special instructions.  Should she become attached to Chubbers while we were away.  I'd be happy to leave her there to permanently live at Casa de Meyring.

The first day Chubbers visit she and Thunder played all over the backyard.  Later that afternoon Beth called to say the bunnies were happily playing outback.  I quickly panicked, she's a girl and Thunder is a boy!  Beth said, well, it's too late now, what's done is done.  We decided it was best to keep the bunnies seperated for the balance of the trip.

Upon our return Chubbers continued her stay and after a few days my brother called and said, pick-up your bunny.  We brought Chubbers home and immediately noticed a change in mood.  She was irritable and when I tried to pet her she nipped at me.  I did what any same person would do and went straight to my friend Google.  After reading all the rabbit pregnancy symptoms it was pretty clear she was indeed pregnant.

Alright, now we were on baby bunny watch 2012.  We needed a new cage as hers was to small for babies. She needed a nesting box and some peace and quiet.  At least we could promise 2 of the 3.  After getting her all set up in her new digs she started building her nest.  She'd take large mouthfuls of her timothy hay and put them in her nesting box.  We knew at this point birth would be any time.  Four days later.................

After my shower that morning I came down and immediately noticed the fur everywhere.  I knew this was a sign of birth.  Matt checked the nesting box and saw 2 tiny pink babies cuddled together.

We immediately decided to protect the cage from Andrew.  He likes to share his toys with Chubbers and this wasn't a time for sharing.

Here are the two little babies.  (Please excuse the blood.)  When I was taking the picture Chubbers jumped on top of her nesting box protecting those babies.  We checked them all day long.  They cuddled, wiggled and snuggled all day.

This morning we noticed there was only one baby.  I panicked.  I grabbed our scoop and checked the litter box and the entire cage, nothing.  I checked chubbers, she was clean.  Where is the other baby?  I moved the box, listened, nothing.  I had to check the box.  I felt around under all this fur.  Not only did I find the missing baby, there are at least 2 more!  We have at least 4 bunnies if not 5.  For fear of getting too much of my scent on them I didn't pull them out and count them.  At this point we are just hoping they are thriving and chubbers is feeding them.

Summer Buh-K-Shun

I need a vacation from my Buh-K-Shun.

I'm feeling tired, grumpy and utterly exhausted.

On June 22 we set off for Las Vegas for a one night stay at The Venetian.  Matt and I had our 3 children and our two nieces, Ellie and Kayley.

From Las Vegas we headed to my brother Ryan and his wife Kristy's house in Price, UT.
The kids had a blast together.  We kept them extremely busy almost a little too busy.

The picture were downloaded from my iphone and I'm not able to change the order.

Addi dancing to "Over the Rainbow" sung by the Osmond 3rd generation girls.

Andrew is running, climbing and trying everything!

Andrew sliding, swinging and loving the outside.

Matt's booth at the Camarillo Fiesta

Kids enjoying the Buccaneer ride at the Fiesta.

Oh, and our rabbit, Chubbers, is having babies.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.  Sometimes I'm excited and other times I'm worried hoping all will go well and the babies will be healthy and will thrive.  Also, I totally identify with her irritability and moodiness.  The kids are absolutely thrilled beyond measure.  Every morning they run downstairs to see if the babies have arrived.  (They could arrive this weekend!) 

Karissa and Kayley in their tap costumes for "Go Barbie Go!" at dress rehearsal.

In Price at the Little Grand Canyon.  It was absolutely breathtaking.  Looking at this picture I'm laughing because Matt was so panicked that we were standing out on a rock with drop offs on both sides he couldn't even look at the camera.  LOL!

After the Fiesta 50 cent ride night we took the kids to sushi.  It was 830p when we walked in the door and the kids were starving.  The each ate 2 bowls of miso soup with steamed rice and california rolls.  That was 9 kids total. Since I walked into the Fiesta with 12 kids this was a piece of cake!

Lehi Round-up.  The kids loved the Rodeo especially all the cowgirls and cowboys!

Our party of 5 on the road to Utah!

Princess Festival at Thanksgiving Point.  The kids LOVE it.  They get to meet all their favorite princesses, get the hair and nails done and do service projects for children in need.  Even better, I love the "More than a Princess" message.

The kids at Pioneer Village in Salt Lake learning about how the pioneer children learned at school.  What a fun day.  The kids got to see how the Mormon pioneers travelled from Navoo, IL to the Salt Lake Valley.  They got to see what life was like once the Pioneers arrived in Salt Lake.  The 7'x7' cabins were 8 children were raised.  The dug-outs some of my ancestors lived in.  This gave us a huge understanding of some of the challenges the pioneers faced.  I'm so grateful for my ancestors for the sacrifices they made for their beliefs.

Addi's hair at the princess festival!

The Queen of Harts teaching the kids how to play croquet.

Addi got married on July 4 so Finn Huff.  They sealed the deal with a kiss.

Fiesta little kids swings.  We learned that at 49" Karissa is too tall for the little kids rides.

Addi at her swim lessons and loving it.  She is absolutely fearless.

Brigham Young's Farmhouse.  What a brilliant man.

Andrew and Daddy trying to escape the princesses.

Lehi Round-up.

Panning for gold at Pioneer Village.  The kids collected lots of "gold" nuggets.  They could turn them in for candy but most of them decided to keep it.

Addi and Karissa post annual physical appointments.  Addi had to get 2 shots.  She was not happy.  And yes, those are bathing suits, we were swimming before and after the appointment.

Don't be deceived by those red mountains, this isn't Price.  It's CarsLand at Disney's California Adventure.  What a fun place.  Disney spared no expense and totally recreated Radiator Springs.  Of course with the $20 ticket hike, guess who's paying for it!

Addi + Minnie Mouse = twins

Cowgirl Kayley. 

Disneyland!  What a fun day!!

Princess Festival.

Ballet dancers at Dress Rehearsal

An overcast 4th of July at Solimar.

Addi with the Auto Club Smart Car that was brought in for the Fiesta.

Addi and Brett with Tinkerbell, Peter Pan and Captain Hook.

At 40" Addi is now tall enough to ride Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain.  If she was scared she never mentioned it.  Addi cheered on every ride.  I think Space Mountain might have been the fastest.  When Addi got off the ride she told Kristy, "I didn't even puke!"
Thank goodness!

Now for a little down time.  (I can wish, right?)

The Graduate

One June 9, 2012

Matt graduated from the Southern California Institute of Law

What an exciting day for our family! 

It's been a long 4 years.  Matt has worked his buns off the entire time. 

Our family is so proud of him. 

The sweetest moment was when Addi yelled, "GO DADDY!"

as Matt was receiving his diploma and shaking hands with his professors.

We ended the event at a sweet little Italian joint, Aldo's, on State Street.

The food was fabulous!

Thank you to everyone made the journey to beautiful Santa Barbara. 

Your presence meant so much to us.

P.S.  I need more pics from Uncle Johnny, Aunt Joan and Aunt Debbie!

The day Linnae and Randall got married, May 26, 2012

When Linnae was born I was 7 years old. I pretended like she was mine. As the youngest of 8 children my mom welcomed the help. I’d sit on our little couch in the kitchen feeding her a bottle and would tell her all the things I would teach her to do.

As we grew up we all taught Linnae how to do our favorite things and she excelled at many. By the age of 3 she rode a bike, roller skated faster than all of us. She climbed and swung and played with incredible strength. We called her our “midget might”. At the time we had no idea that the strength she developed would carry her through some rough waters and make her even stronger.

By the age of 7 “Midget Might”, became quite the gymnast. Yet since she was so small I used to carry her around all the time. One day my mom pulled me aside and said, “Please stop carrying her around, it looks ridiculous.”

Since the days I “carried” Linnae, she and I developed a special bond. When I got married and started having kids no one was more excited than Linnae. She couldn’t wait to be an Aunt. There have been several times when I had to be away from my family and Linnae stepped in as Mom. In more ways than one she has “carried” me. Thank you.

Our family has been eagerly awaiting this day for the past year. We are so excited for Linnae to start the next chapter and best chapter of her life. She could not have picked a more perfect person in Randall. His is kind and gentle, kind and quiet. He is the calm to Linnae’s storm. (In a good way, of course.)

Congratulations to Linnae and Randall!