Scared

When I was a child I was deathly afraid of spiders. Every time I entered my room I'd do a once over to ensure no eight legged friends were insight. If I happened to spot one I'd lay on my bed motionless trying to kill the spider with my laser vision. Or by twitching my nose like "Bewitched".

Usually that didn't work and I'd scream for my dad or one of my big brothers to come kill it. (With the brothers it never ended well.)

Once I became a mother I gained super strength and have become an expert spider killer. (Ahem- even better than Matt.) The vacuum is my weapon of choice.

Speaking of motherhood. When Karissa was born I was scared of everything! Germs, weird people trying to touch her, illness. My biggest fear is someone taking one of my kids. (Thanks Nancy Grace.) Now on child number three I'm not scared of most of these things except for the last one.

A few weeks ago one of my best friends, Jenny, called to say she found a lump in her breast. She was going immediately to have it checked out. At that moment I thought, there's no way it could be anything serious. Jenny's my age and is healthy and happy. She just got married to an extremely nice guy. Her kids were growing up and doing well. We've been through a lot together Jenny and I.  Marriages, babies, losing our Moms, realizing that our remarried Dads sort of left us behind.  There's no way anything scary could or should happen to her.

Then there was more news and not good news. Things happened super fast and now my friend is missing a breast and several lymph nodes. Suddenly I felt extremely scared.

As I visited with Jenny post surgery she looked vibrant and in her words is ready to fight. Her courage and bravery gave me strength!

Jenny doesn't know exactly what her future will bring. I'm still scared and will stand by her and fight. That's what 16 years of friendship will do. She's been with me through my best and worst.

I love you Jenny!

(Jenny and Addison at 4 days old)