Why Me?

June 2007 - Family Photo post Grandma McEuen's funeral

It's not even noon and I've already fielded 7 phone calls from Grandpa.  His caregiver was supposed to drive him to his sisters house for lunch in Seal Beach and now couldn't. 

Call #1 - I'm not going

Call #2 - Can you take me?

Call #3 - Can you take me tomorrow? Or Friday, or Saturday?

Call #4 - Why haven't you called me back about when you can take me?

Call #5 - I want to go down to see Ruth!  Why can't you take me?

Call #6 - What time did you want me for lunch today?

Call #7 - When will you know if you can take me to see Ruth on Friday?

At times all the back and forth doesn't bother me.  Today it does.  Why?  Because I work.  Grandpa cannot conceptualize how I can possibly work from home.  Technology frustrates him and he wants nothing to do with it.  I've showed him my laptop, had him look at e-mail.  He just pushes it aside.

So here I sit, trying to work and get as much done so maybe I can take him to see his sister on Friday.

Any why don't I just ignore him and come up with excuses;

When I was growing up Grandma and Grandpa lived about 10 houses down the ally from us.  (2 streets over.)  And every time I needed a lunch for school, was sick, needed help with homework, someone to drive me to school, new clothes, new shoes, drivers training, a car to use, money for school - ANYTHING!  Grandma and Grandpa were right there to give us whatever we needed.

I was also raised to Honor thy Father and Mother.  (That includes Grandparents.)

Because having my kids see and know their Great-Grandpa will be a gift that will last them a lifetime.  (Even if his stitches did gross them out.)

And lastly, because if there wasn't a Grandpa that fell in love with a special Grandma - there wouldn't be a me.

Lemonade

On a sunny Presidents Day in Camarillo my niece, Ellie and her BFF, Izzie, decided to open a lemonade stand right in front of my house.  Last week they had learned at school all about the catholic children in Haiti that were trying to earn money to rebuild their church.  St. Mary Magdalene school in Camarillo raised nearly $500 last week for this cause.  Ellie and Izzie were on a mission to donate more.  What better way than lemonade.

When the girls first arrived and I heard their plan I thought it was sort of um.....silly.  But what the heck, I helped make the lemonade while they set up tables out front.  The girls had all the supplies and were set up in no time.

In one hour and a half these girls earned just over $30.00.  Now I wasn't laughing.  I was plotting ways to have my own lemonade stand called, I want new shoes.

Lesson learned, cute girls selling lemonade = winner!

Remember Me

Last week a very wonderful lady took her last breaths on this earth.  Her name is Gloria Stokes.  Growing up in Oxnard our family knew the Stokes family well.  Gloria was a mother to six children, most of which the same ages as me and my siblings.  We also went to church together and the same schools.  Sis. Stokes was my camp leader and YW leader for many years.  She was also my ride to school/home and to most church functions.  This lady lived to serve.  There was not one thing that she owned or talent she possessed that she didn't share.  I will always remember to share my talents.

Sis. Stokes loved holidays, especially Halloween.  This meant that she hosted the best parties.  As youth we dressed up and turned her home into a super scary haunted houses for many years.  She always dressed as a witch.  We spent many a Halloween scaring the daylights out of many a trick-or-treater.  Now when I dress up my house for Halloween with fog and spooky sounds, I always remember her.

My favorite memories of the Stokes family include 5 years of Girls Camp.  We learned how to set up tents, build fires, cook food (and good food - peach cobbler), and navigate by the stars.  I will always remember and love Sis. Stokes for teaching me how to camp.

Have you ever met someone that always had a smile on their face?  This was Sis. Stokes.   She had a fierce love for her children, really for all children.  Her home was always open to those in need.  I will always remember that love that her soul pushed out into the universe.  It was catching and oh so comforting.

How do you want to be remembered?  If I could live my life as this remarkable lady and be remembered in the way I've remembered her, I'd have a permanent smile too.

P.S.  I can't believe I didn't mention our Roadshows.  Sis. Stokes was the executive producer.  This meant she did everything, songs, choreography, props, costumes.  Ours was always the best and they were a blast!

A handsom reward

At exactly 2:13pm last Friday afternoon my cell phone rang.  It was a number I recognized - the Saint - that drives my child to and from school everyday.  I answered quickly and blurted out, "I'm on my way home right now."

"Mama", the voice on the other end was Karissa.  "Guess what?" she continued.  "I got Student of the Month! and a Principal's award!"

"YEAH!" I screamed.  We continued to chat and I told her how proud I was of her and how hard she's worked.

To be truthful, I never thought we'd see the day this year.  Karissa started a new school and for a child who is uncomfortable with change, the first month of school was a nightmare.  We had other changes to adjust to as well, a new dance schedule and all new friends.  Karissa deals with change by using a handy little tool called defiance.  It drives me to the brink.  Then it's like she just wakes up and it's over, till the next change in routine happens.

The thing about Karissa is that she's wicked smart.  I'm not using the word wicked as in we're from Boston wicked.  The wicked I'm talking about is; I'm a little scared about how smart she is.

Like the kind of smart where she is proficiently reading at a 4th grade level.  She can read an entire Diary of a Wimpy Kid book in 3 hours.  Like she's tearing through all the Judy Blume books, Superfudge, Double Fudge, etc.  She aces spelling tests and never studies because she can't remember to bring the words home.  She's great at math.  I rarely help her with homework.  My job is just to nag her to get it done. 
When I do it's usually done in 15 mins.

The thing that frightens me is she never stops to listen to instructions, she forges ahead and figures it out along the way.  (This is so me!)  Yet, she has picked up Matt's unbelievable intelligence.  When she does learn something new, it only takes once and she never forgets. (This is reiterated by her teachers, dance instructors, church teachers.  It's all the same.  It scares me.)

We will see where the years take us.  I'm already a little nervous about the future, only that she will be and is too smart for her own good.

For today, I'm proud of her.  I'm proud that she's worked hard and earned a handsome reward! 

We treated Karissa and -The Saint's daughter- to a girly treat.

It's Great to be 8 - Save the Date

Once upon a time Kayley, Brett (left) &

Karissa, Milloy (right) were 5....now they are turning 8.

Karissa will be baptized at

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

Saturday, June 1st

time TBA

We'll have treats at our house afterwards.

Travis and Kayley will celebrate their First Holy Communion in May.

(Please contact the moms for further info.)

As promised - Christmas

It's funny how in our society we move forward so quickly.  Christmas was just 32 days ago, yet it seems like over 100 days ago.  As I let this thought burst in and out of my mind over the past few days.  I couldn't help but think about all the media shoved down our throat.  Once Christmas is over all you read/see is "New Year - New You" and Clearance sales - Out with the old in with the new.  New - New - New. 

(Sorry had to get that off my chest.  Maybe it's helping me to feel like less of a loser for posting Christmas so late.....maybe.)

On Christmas Eve we stood shivering under the MacAvoy's outdoor Chrstmas tree.  We had a birds eye view of all of Camarillo.  The kids were beyond giddy and giggly waiting for Santa to fly by.  We'd have a special view on top of the hill and a secret promise from the pilot he'd get extra close. 

At 6:45p we heard the familiar sound of the helicopter and lights of Santa's sleigh taking off from the Camarillo airport.  "There he is the children squeeled."  We all watched anxiously as Santa flew over Target, the Outlet Mall, Old Town, Camarillo Springs.  Then we lost him for a minute while he was over Mission Oaks.  A few minutes later we could hear him getting closer and closer. 

"Santa, Santa." the kids sang

As promised Santa flew right over us, very close.  We all waived and shouted, "See you tonight!"

After Santa was out of site we dragged the kids in formation for family photos.  The 3 seven year olds were whispering to each other.  Beth and I took a few steps towards them and heard, "I saw a helicopter, did you?  Me too.  That wasn't Santa.  Was it?  Is Santa real?"

Uh oh!

When we piled back in the car, Karissa asked and Matt and I responded, "Of course he's real!"

I'd like to hope that for now, at least until next year she believes.  And speaking of believing.....

The Purple Park

June 2010

Yesterday Addison begged to go to the famed "Purple Park".  At least that's what we call it in this house.  At 4:00p I finally agreed and off we went.  Andrew, Addi and Mom.  

Upon arrival I unbuckled carseat belts and two very excited babies wriggled out of their seats.  I opened the door and out they lept in a full sprint.  I ran after them as they have a tendency to walk in front of high flying swings.  (Just yesterday Karissa kicked Addi in full swing and she flew about 3 feet before landing face first on the spongy mesh.)

Andrew headed for the slides circling the jungle gym before finding the stairs.  Addi jumped on the big spider web and scrambled to the top.  "Look at me Mom!"

As the kids played I noticed a some folks at the picnic table not far away.  There was a woman, two men, one in a button down shirt and Dockers and a sweet little girl about 7 in pig tails.  I'm nosy so I kept looking from time to time.  It quickly became clear what they were doing at the park.  A supervised playdate of sorts.  I watched the mom speaking to the Social Working very animated.  The dad, (I'm guessing) was just quiet and listening. 

A few minutes later they were up and approaching the bathrooms.  The mother had a jerky gate and was still animated, upon further observation it was quite clear she was a drug addict.  The little girl walked into the womens restroom all alone as the parents and social worker stood outside. I've been in those restrooms several times, although they are clean, I would never let my child go in unattended. 

My first instinct was to run up and hug the little girl as she emerged from the bathroom.  She ran out quick and darted for the slide.  "You can't catch me!" she called out.  I was next to the little slide watching Andrew prepare to slide down.  All of a sudden the sweet little girl was right in front of me going down the side by side slide with Andrew.  Then she was off running to the picnic bench.  She grabbed her backpack and headed to the car of the social worker.  He opened the door for her and she climbed in the back.  The parents said goodbye, no hug or tears, just a wave.

At that moment, I wanted to save her.  Save her from parents that didn't deserve those sweet pigtails. 

Let her know that it wasn't her fault her parents addiction was stronger than her.  Most importantly let her know not to let them define her.

I watched and played with Addi and Andrew for a while longer before we headed home. 

On the way home I remembered a post I read earlier in the day; i-want-them-to-know , and I reminded myself what I want my kids to know.

I want them to know they are loved beyond measure.

Their dad and I love each other.

We make decisions based on their best interest.

Our home is a place of comfort, peace and cleanliness.

We will always provide food on the table, clothes on their back, and a warm place to sleep.

We will laugh and cry together.

I will teach them everything I know and more.

We are a family.