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Strawberry Fields - photo by the extremely talented Mike Johnsen

 

Growing up in Ventura County I've always lived amongst agriculture.  The farm fields started at the base of the Santa Monica Mountains in Camarillo and stretched throughout the Oxnard plain all the way to the ocean. 

 

On our way to school, church, soccer, tap/ballet; I'd stare out the window at the perfectly manicured miles and miles of strawberry/celery/cabbage/tomato fields. The growing vegetation made me feel happy and secure.  The world was thriving right in my own backyard.  Not to mention the sweet smell of strawberries is absolutely intoxicating.

 

As an adult each and every day I drive past dozens of farms.  Farmers and crop harvesters working hard in their fields.  Watching them gives me an overwhelming sense of home. It's like I'm back in that big red station wagon peering out with big green eyes watching the rows run alongside me.  And once again I feel happy, secure and totally at home.

Karissa's school is completely surrounded by farms.  An abundance of lemons, artichokes and of course strawberries in perfect rows.  I hope that she'll appreciate their beauty and like me, they will always remind her of home.

My Mothers Voice

While getting ready for church today (enjoying a rare kid free moment*) and absorbing the silence,
I glanced at myself in the mirror. 

A voice immediately said, "Go put on a slip!" 

I quickly gave myself another once over.  Slip? Ugh!  I'd need to remove at least three layers.
The thoughts tripped over themselves in my mind. 

Still staring in the mirror, the voice returned; "Slip...Now!"

I smiled and released a well needed laugh.  It was undoubtedly my mother's voice.

My mothers voice was never soft and sweet like Snow White.  Her voice was strong and clear.  She always spoke with purpose and conviction.  You never wanted to be on her bad side.

This Wednesday, November 14, would have been my mother's 67th birthday.  I'm glad I will always remember her as 54, young and full of life.  I'm very glad she's always with me.  And that she still has the audacity to tell me what to do.  Somethings never change.  Love you Mom.

*Yes, Mother, I realize I was breaking one of your cardinal rules by getting ready for church after getting all the kids ready and having them wait for me in the car!

Scared

When I was a child I was deathly afraid of spiders. Every time I entered my room I'd do a once over to ensure no eight legged friends were insight. If I happened to spot one I'd lay on my bed motionless trying to kill the spider with my laser vision. Or by twitching my nose like "Bewitched".

Usually that didn't work and I'd scream for my dad or one of my big brothers to come kill it. (With the brothers it never ended well.)

Once I became a mother I gained super strength and have become an expert spider killer. (Ahem- even better than Matt.) The vacuum is my weapon of choice.

Speaking of motherhood. When Karissa was born I was scared of everything! Germs, weird people trying to touch her, illness. My biggest fear is someone taking one of my kids. (Thanks Nancy Grace.) Now on child number three I'm not scared of most of these things except for the last one.

A few weeks ago one of my best friends, Jenny, called to say she found a lump in her breast. She was going immediately to have it checked out. At that moment I thought, there's no way it could be anything serious. Jenny's my age and is healthy and happy. She just got married to an extremely nice guy. Her kids were growing up and doing well. We've been through a lot together Jenny and I.  Marriages, babies, losing our Moms, realizing that our remarried Dads sort of left us behind.  There's no way anything scary could or should happen to her.

Then there was more news and not good news. Things happened super fast and now my friend is missing a breast and several lymph nodes. Suddenly I felt extremely scared.

As I visited with Jenny post surgery she looked vibrant and in her words is ready to fight. Her courage and bravery gave me strength!

Jenny doesn't know exactly what her future will bring. I'm still scared and will stand by her and fight. That's what 16 years of friendship will do. She's been with me through my best and worst.

I love you Jenny!

(Jenny and Addison at 4 days old)