As parents have we really come that far?

I've been thinking a lot about this lately.  Last night I read an article that a friend posted to facebook and I in turn reposted.  This article particularly resonated with me.  I've read the post from Hands Free Mama in the past and wanted to be sure this time I put some of her practices in place in my own life.

The morning after I gave birth to Karissa, I sat in my hospital room unable to stop gazing at this miracle I'd been given.  Then I was hit by the crushing blow of responsibility.  It was now my job to raise her, teach her everything she needed to know to survive life on earth and beyond.  The weight of that responsibility sat heavy on my shoulders.  (And still does.)

I knew right away what I kind of parent I didn't want to be.  I did not want to be like my mother.  Don't get me wrong, my mother was incredibly talented and had a great sense of humor.  When things were good, they were very good and when things were bad, they were very bad.  My biggest fear and challenge was to be better than that. To stop the cycle of judgement and ridicule that my mother had been given by her mother and my Grandmother had been given by her mother.

My sisters and I have have discussed this and length and decided my mother did the best she could with the information she had.

When I was a freshmen in High School, I decided to make a cute boy I sat next to in English class some chocolate chip cookies.  As soon as I got home I asked my mom for permission and started to make the cookies.  She sat in the kitchen working on a sewing project and called out "tips" on making the best cookies.  I was told that if the cookies tasted horrible and I wasted the ingredients I would have to replace everything.  I read the recipe and started on the dough.  The yelling started almost immediately, I was doing it all wrong.  All semester I tried and tried to make good cookies.  Each time I made cookies, I got a critique that was never favorable from my mother.  She actually never stood and showed my how to do it.  Just gave me "tips" on how to make them better next time. 

Luckily the boy never thought they were bad, or at least he never admitted it.  In the end, I guess I can thank my mother because now I make the best chocolate chip cookies. 

I never want to be that mother that believes parenting is berating your child and verbally beating them into obedience.  What purpose does that serve?  So you can yell and tear someone down, great.  Now you have a child who cowers in front of adults and has no self esteem.  Does that make you feel better as a person and most importantly a parent?  Are we choosing to be better parents than our parents or choosing to be just like them? 

There are so many ways our society has progressed and so many ways it hasn't.  With the monumental information available at our finger tips, why do we choose status quo? 

Today there are high school students who can't read face clocks.  Woman are still judged by their size and not their intellect.  Children are pushed into social categories our society and we as parents have created for them.  Can't we do better?

That morning at West Hills Hospital, I made a promise.  Never, ever to become that kind of mother.  To this day I've been pretty much successful.  That promise has been challenged almost every single day.  Some people have called my girls, "Sassy" and others have praised me for raising children who are confident and not afraid to speak their mind.  I hope that I am raising children that will make the world a better place.  Children that will stand up for what is right.  Children that will love their mother for letting them be children.