Karissa February 2007
Once upon a time all I could think about was dressing up this little girl. I'd day dream about little curls and pink frilly skirts. Patent leather shoes and the perfect hair bows. Then she turned 18 mos and with that came a difficult personality. I remember Matt telling my when she was about 3 months old that he thought she was difficult. I almost punched him. How could my perfect baby ever be...difficult?
At three years old we took her to see a therapist, her tantrums were more than we could bear. The only way we could get her to calm down was to yell at her or give her a bath. Sometimes the bath only made things more difficult, she'd always poop in the bath. (Yuck) The therapist had some good advice and some bad. We were told that it was 75% parenting and to just keep working with her.
As she's gotten older things have gotten easier and we've learned to be better parents and never ever give in. (Or at least I have learned that.) There are times when she reverts to terrible tantrums and lately she's had some doosies. Last week there were three in three days.
The last one at Trader Joes sent me over the edge. Karissa found the pirate snake in the store which means she could tell a cashier and get a lollipop. When we made our way to the front of the store she ran to the kids coloring area and started coloring. Then she noticed Addi sucking on a lollipop. She ran over to me and asked for a lollipop. I reminded her she needed to tell the cashier. The young cashier patiently waited for her to ask. She refused claiming she was "shy". I told her I couldn't ask for her. Right there in the middle of my grocery check-out she flipped. Screaming, crying, hitting me. It was past the point of humiliation. I escorted her to the car while hearing the judgments of several other customers. She kicked and screamed while Matt and I loaded the groceries, the entire (1 mile) drive home and until I dragged her upstairs and into the shower. She still screamed for at least 5 more minutes. UGH!
At this point Matt and I were at each others throats, we hate seeing her this way. It just puts a dark cloud over the entire house. Addi and Andrew were real good during these episodes and steered clear of trouble. (Silver lining)
After Karissa calmed down we had a long talk about her behavior. She's also grounded for a few weeks. She has since been much better and things are back in alignment. I always have to remember to stick to our routine and always give her a straight answer, even if the answer is NO!
In other news, my sister Kayla totally freaked out on me. She got very jealous over the weekend in Vegas that Beth, Kristy and I enjoyed. When I called her after she screamed at me and called me horrible things.
Things that an apology may never forgive. Why am I sharing this? Because I want my children to know that you cannot treat any person this way, especially a sibling. I want them to know to never ever say things that an apology won't mend. And to always treat each other with respect, kindness and most of all love.
The last one at Trader Joes sent me over the edge. Karissa found the pirate snake in the store which means she could tell a cashier and get a lollipop. When we made our way to the front of the store she ran to the kids coloring area and started coloring. Then she noticed Addi sucking on a lollipop. She ran over to me and asked for a lollipop. I reminded her she needed to tell the cashier. The young cashier patiently waited for her to ask. She refused claiming she was "shy". I told her I couldn't ask for her. Right there in the middle of my grocery check-out she flipped. Screaming, crying, hitting me. It was past the point of humiliation. I escorted her to the car while hearing the judgments of several other customers. She kicked and screamed while Matt and I loaded the groceries, the entire (1 mile) drive home and until I dragged her upstairs and into the shower. She still screamed for at least 5 more minutes. UGH!
At this point Matt and I were at each others throats, we hate seeing her this way. It just puts a dark cloud over the entire house. Addi and Andrew were real good during these episodes and steered clear of trouble. (Silver lining)
After Karissa calmed down we had a long talk about her behavior. She's also grounded for a few weeks. She has since been much better and things are back in alignment. I always have to remember to stick to our routine and always give her a straight answer, even if the answer is NO!
In other news, my sister Kayla totally freaked out on me. She got very jealous over the weekend in Vegas that Beth, Kristy and I enjoyed. When I called her after she screamed at me and called me horrible things.
Things that an apology may never forgive. Why am I sharing this? Because I want my children to know that you cannot treat any person this way, especially a sibling. I want them to know to never ever say things that an apology won't mend. And to always treat each other with respect, kindness and most of all love.
3 comments:
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry that you are dealing with all this. You NEEDED that weekend off! Please, please let me know if can do anything for you!!
My heart goes out to you. "Those never mend things." I do hope you can keep being strong and move forward.
Your sisters comments (we saw them on FB) were brought up at Sunday dinner in Heber a couple weeks ago. It's too bad that happened. I hope things get better. I admire you & think you're wonderful.
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